The Physics of Peeing

A 2020 survey of 2,000 British couples found that nearly 20% of the respondents admitted to ending a relationship because of their ex’s bathroom habits. Arguably, the biggest issue? Women were turned off by the mess and smells a boyfriend left behind in the toilet. Aah, yes...men apparently have no aim, leaving urine splatter everywhere.

Men might argue that accuracy is indeed difficult, with so many variables at play: volume, speed, pressure...err, size? Well, turn outs, none of that really matter, what really drives urine spray, according to fluid dynamic scientists at the Splash Lab at Bringham Young University, is distance and angle. Physicists Tadd Truscott and Randy Hurd conclude that one of the most effective way to reduce splatter is to alter the angle of your pee stream so that it hits the wall of the toilet/urinal at a gradual angle; the closer to 90 degrees, the worse the splashback will be. They even have a nifty video simulating a typical urine stream entering water and the considerable splash it generates:

And the difference a low angle makes, all else equal. 

However, the researchers note there is an even easier solution to saving your relationship: sitting to pee, which reduces distance. For a guy who stands to relieve himself, "his urine must travel five times farther to the water or porcelain surface than if he were sitting." The lengthier travel distance allows the stream to gain velocity and break up into separate droplets. Knowledge women instinctively know but can't always seem to pass on to the men in their lives. 

It's also worth noting that sitting to pee makes the "go" better. Doctors say that when people sit, pelvic and hip muscles are relaxed, making urination easier. Win-win?

To be fair, many men do sit to pee. Standing to pee is more common in the West than the East, where is it associated with "manliness". German men, at least, are coming around (or maybe being pressured to by their spouses?). A recent survey shows 40% of them routinely sit to pee compared to 10% of American men (naturally, the Germans have a word for it: sitzprinkler). The US, it seems, needs to work a bit to be #1 in #1. And why not? Sitting to pee leads to:

1. Better hygiene

2. Better health

3. Perhaps most importantly happy wife, happy life?

So, sit, relax, and enjoy the flow!