Is the Patriarchy Romantic?

It's the 2020s, women today make up 60% of college undergraduate enrollments; among married couples almost half of women make as much or more than their husbands. Even Barbie is a feminist now? Still, there is one tradition that's going strong, despite its deep patriarchal roots: American women taking their husbands' last names. As the NY Times reports, a 2023 study from the Pew Research Center reveals nearly 80% of U.S. women changed their names after marriage.

Looking a little deeper into the data, views on marital naming diverged somewhat by politics (naturally) and education: "Among conservative Republican women, 90 percent took their husbands’ name, compared with 66 percent of liberal Democrats, Pew found. Eighty-three percent of women without a college degree changed their names, while 68 percent of those with a postgraduate degree did." Also, younger women (<50) are twice as likely to keep their names than older women (50+). 

These findings are consistent with a scholarly paper examining the same behavior. A 2004 paper by Harvard economist Claudia Goldin and Maria Shim in the prestigious Journal of Economic Perspectives found largely the same set of correlates to changing one's surname: higher education (less likely to), delayed marriage (less likely to), highly educated spouse (less likely to), children (more likely to), etc. Still these factors seem to be overwhelmed by larger cultural factors. Regardless of age, education, or status, women's desire to "make a name" for themselves appear to be subsumed by their longing to conform to tradition and customs. 

That tradition, at least among Anglo-Saxons, is rooted in Western society's patriarchal history. Until the middle-ages, women were simply referred to as "wife of [insert husband's name]"--like in the Handmaid's Tale (Offred or Ofjoseph). Then coverture arrived in England around the 15th century and a husband and wife became a unified entity. But not in the way the Spice Girls cooed about. Rather coverture held that "no female person had a legal identity...[she was] covered by [first] her father's identity, and then, when she was married, by her husband's". As coverture caught on, the practice of wives adopting their husband's surname became firmly entrenched in English society. So much so, in 1765, it was codified into law. 

   

The custom was carried over into the U.S. and other British colonies. In the spirit of the revolution Abigail Adams (wife of John) pleaded with her husband to change the practice, in her famous "Remember the Ladies" letter of 1776, but he apparently thought she was joking (oh Ofjohn, you're so funny). So, it would take a couple of centuries before women were recognized as separate from their husbands. Until the 1970s women in the U.S. could not get a driver's license, passport, or register to vote unless they took their husband's surname.

And yet, today despite a great deal more financial, political, and social freedom, women continue to be drawn to patriarchal gender norms. In fact, many even find changing names compelling because as JLo explained when she became Mrs. Affleck: it's romantic! Since it is commonly viewed as a sign of love or commitment to their husbands and their new life together, many women happily take their spouse's surname. Now to be fair, for the less famous, there are also practical considerations. As the Times article referenced earlier notes, many women "find it easier to have the same name as their future children, and to simplify dinner reservations or utility bills."

It's also important to note, the custom of marital name changes is by no means universal. In China, Korea, and other East Asian countries women traditionally retain their surname after marriage. The same in many Muslim countries. Even in Western countries things have changed; in Italy, France, the Netherlands, and Greece, women by law are required to keep their maiden names. So maybe it's just another case of Americans being WEIRD. We simply assume that's how the world works, because we do it that way.